ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Mondays aren't so bad.
They're just Sundays that opened their bank statement.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your banking app pauses slightly before opening. It's deciding how to tell you.
- You "work best under pressure". You don't. You just only work under pressure.
- A good night out now means home by ten. Nobody had to come and…
- Your desk plant is the only thing in the office still growing. When you…
- You have a "5-year plan". It's a Pinterest board. It's mostly kitchens.
- You're not broke. You're pre-rich. The "pre" is permanent.
- Things will look better in the morning. No. They'll just be better lit.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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