ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Being single means nobody steals your duvet.
It also means the duvet is the only witness to your life.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- They're taking time away from social media. You know because they posted about it…
- Micro-dating is a thirty-minute coffee to see if there's a spark. There wasn't. She…
- You "don't do small talk". You also don't do big talk, phone calls, emails…
- Mondays aren't so bad. They're just Sundays that opened their bank statement.
- Your banking app pauses slightly before opening. It's deciding how to tell you.
- You "work best under pressure". You don't. You just only work under pressure.
- A good night out now means home by ten. Nobody had to come and…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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