ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your Duolingo owl has stopped threatening you.
It's not proud. It's given up. Even the bird has moved on.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You "romanticise studying". You've filmed it, lit it and soundtracked it. You haven't studied.
- Your gym membership is the most expensive guilt you've ever bought. It renews automatically.…
- Fortnite was free to play. It was not free to stop.
- Your desk plant is the only thing in the office still growing. When you…
- Core collaboration days started as Tuesday. They now include Wednesday, Thursday, a Friday that's…
- Mondays aren't so bad. They're just Sundays that opened their bank statement.
- Mistakes were made. The Notes app has never once said by whom.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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