ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You got a houseplant to "take care of something".
It died. Even the plant had better boundaries than you.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Nobody notices when you do your job well. Everyone notices when you leave at…
- A tidy playroom lasts exactly as long as it takes to photograph. The photo…
- Every subscription you forgot about still thinks of you monthly. That's more than your…
- You got the ick because they ran for a bus. You've been single three…
- Your birthday cake now needs a risk assessment. The candles are outnumbering the years…
- You have 47 tabs open. Three are jobs you'll never apply for, one's a…
- Your financial advisor is a spreadsheet you opened once in January. It's been screaming…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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