ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your alarm didn't wake you.
The dread did. It doesn't have a snooze button.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Till death do us part. Not a vow. A fixed-term contract with an unspecified…
- They posted an apology in the Notes app. It was addressed to the fans.…
- You don't skip leg day. You skip every day. The legs know. The legs…
- You'll never get on the property ladder. The only plot you'll ever own is…
- They'll hold a minute's silence for you at the all-hands. It will be the…
- "We should get dinner sometime" is a beautiful promise. One of you will die…
- You started saying "oof" when you sit down. That's the countdown, out loud.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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