ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You wanted a mini-me.
You got a tiny negotiator who has never once lost to you.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Abs are made in the kitchen. So are toasties. The toasties are undefeated.
- He vanished for five months, then texted "haha so true" like he'd just popped…
- Being a parent means eating cold crusts standing up and calling it dinner. You'll…
- Tomorrow is a fresh start. Your problems have the new address. They've already moved…
- You call your mum "for advice". You call her for the Netflix password.
- You're not a CEO. You're one person with a logo, a free email account…
- You asked the chatbot if you were a good parent. It said "absolutely" before…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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