ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Beach body ready?
The beach has been ready for four billion years. It isn't waiting for you.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Hard work pays off eventually. It's paying off right now. Your boss just bought…
- “I'm here for the right reasons.” The reasons are a teeth-whitening deal and a…
- Your favourite music is now called "a classic". So are you. It means old.
- Early access means you paid to watch someone not finish something. You do that…
- You'll leave your children everything you have. It's mostly a bread maker and an…
- There's someone out there for everyone. Yours married someone else in 2019. They look…
- Your soft launch was a hand in a photo. The hard launch never came.…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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