ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You're "chronically online".
Chronic means long-term. You've been online so long your eyes have a loading icon.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Kids grow up so fast. Except between 5pm and bedtime, when time stops and…
- Your gym membership is the most expensive guilt you've ever bought. It renews automatically.…
- Your birthday cake now needs a risk assessment. The candles are outnumbering the years…
- Good things come to those who wait. You waited so long they went to…
- You bought 41 games in the Steam sale. You will play two. The other…
- Every great company started in a garage. Yours will end there too. The car's…
- Both parties say this is the most important election of your lifetime. They said…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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