ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION
WEDNESDAY, 10 APRIL 1991
Start the week strong.
Or at 9:14, camera off, pretending your face is a buffering icon.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You said "we move". You've lived in the same bedroom since you were nine.
- You said you're "built different". You're built the same. Just assembled worse.
- Early access means you paid to watch someone not finish something. You do that…
- You said "that's so me" about a horoscope. It also described 600 million other…
- Every subscription you forgot about still thinks of you monthly. That's more than your…
- You don't have a type. You have a pattern. Your friends have a group…
- Nothing says adulthood like being excited about a new kettle. The kettle will outlast…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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