ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You said "that's so me" about a horoscope.
It also described 600 million other people and a goldfish.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Every subscription you forgot about still thinks of you monthly. That's more than your…
- You don't have a type. You have a pattern. Your friends have a group…
- Nothing says adulthood like being excited about a new kettle. The kettle will outlast…
- You did the Mannequin Challenge again for old times' sake. The standing still was…
- Your favourite music is now called "a classic". So are you. It means old.
- You "work best under pressure". You don't. You just only work under pressure.
- Your Duolingo owl has stopped threatening you. It's not proud. It's given up. Even…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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