ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION
MONDAY, 27 MAY 1991
Your Duolingo owl has stopped threatening you.
It's not proud. It's given up. Even the bird has moved on.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- They posted an apology in the Notes app. It was addressed to the fans.…
- Love is patient. Your partner is not, and has started a note on their…
- You "can't do mornings". You also can't do afternoons, evenings or emails.
- Your teenager isn't ignoring everyone. Just you. You're saved in their phone as "Do…
- The house will be tidy again one day. The day they move out. Tidy,…
- The award show ran four hours. The only winner was the advert break.
- Nobody has ever said "thank goodness it's Monday". Except a manager, and he meant…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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