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ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED

DAILY DEMOTIVATION

A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.

ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION FRIDAY, 3 MAY 1991
Your resting heart rate is excellent.
It's had nothing else to do.

— Zack, unqualified

VERIFIED
UNHELPFUL

PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE

  1. Your startup is an app that replaces a phone call. With a waitlist, a…
  2. Every company now has an AI assistant. It's the only member of staff nobody's…
  3. Your squad misses you, says the notification. Your squad is four strangers and a…
  4. He vanished for five months, then texted "haha so true" like he'd just popped…
  5. You're "manifesting abundance". The only thing abundant is your payment reminders.
  6. Limited-time event. Will not return. Neither will your Saturday.
  7. "We should get dinner sometime" is a beautiful promise. One of you will die…

THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR

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Newsletter / Issue No. 446

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