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ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED

DAILY DEMOTIVATION

A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.

ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION SATURDAY, 27 JULY 1991
Quality family time:
everyone on a different screen in the same room, harvested by the same algorithm.

— Zack, unqualified

VERIFIED
UNHELPFUL

PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE

  1. “I'm here for the right reasons.” The reasons are a teeth-whitening deal and a…
  2. Some people run marathons. You run late, and you still come last.
  3. Monday motivation is a myth. Like the Loch Ness Monster, a clean office microwave,…
  4. Opposites attract. Then they argue about the thermostat for forty years. Whoever outlives the…
  5. You did the Mannequin Challenge again for old times' sake. The standing still was…
  6. You're "chronically online". Chronic means long-term. You've been online so long your eyes have…
  7. Being single means nobody steals your duvet. It also means the duvet is the…

THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR

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Newsletter / Issue No. 446

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