ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Opposites attract.
Then they argue about the thermostat for forty years. Whoever outlives the other finally sets it.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You did the Mannequin Challenge again for old times' sake. The standing still was…
- You're "chronically online". Chronic means long-term. You've been online so long your eyes have…
- Being single means nobody steals your duvet. It also means the duvet is the…
- You said "my For You page knows me so well". It knows you're awake…
- You asked the internet whether you were the bad guy. The internet read the…
- You bought the yoga mat. The cat uses it. The cat is more flexible,…
- Mistakes were made. The Notes app has never once said by whom.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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