ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You moneymaxxed so hard this month you earned $4.80 in cashback.
It cost three new cards and a Sunday. You get roughly 4,000 Sundays. That was one.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You are a valued member of the team. So was the last person in…
- You negotiated your broadband bill down by $3 a month. The call took 94…
- Doom spending is buying a heated eye mask because the news was bad. The…
- Good things come to those who wait. You waited so long they went to…
- Beach body ready? The beach has been ready for four billion years. It isn't…
- You said you're "built different". You're built the same. Just assembled worse.
- You're "on a gap year". It's your third.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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