ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
The spark never fades.
It gets downgraded to bin bags, then to a joint funeral plan.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Make your money work for you. Yours quit in 2019. It works for your…
- Every company now has an AI assistant. It's the only member of staff nobody's…
- Sleep when the baby sleeps. Also pay the mortgage when the baby pays the…
- You got the ick because they ran for a bus. You've been single three…
- A tidy playroom lasts exactly as long as it takes to photograph. The photo…
- You said you'd "touch grass" this weekend. You took a photo of grass, posted…
- Being single means nobody steals your duvet. It also means the duvet is the…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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