ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Teamwork makes the dream work.
It also means six people are ready to blame you. In writing.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your savings account isn't empty. It's a memorial.
- You asked the chatbot if you were a good parent. It said "absolutely" before…
- Love yourself first. Someone has to, and nobody else applied.
- Mondays aren't so bad. They're just Sundays that opened their bank statement.
- Your step counter used to set goals. Now it just sends "Hello?" like a…
- You wanted a mini-me. You got a tiny negotiator who has never once lost…
- The hardest part of working out is getting started. You've made sure it stays…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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