ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
"We should get dinner sometime" is a beautiful promise.
One of you will die first. It'll still be pending.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Teamwork makes the dream work. It also means six people are ready to blame…
- Your savings account isn't empty. It's a memorial.
- You asked the chatbot if you were a good parent. It said "absolutely" before…
- Love yourself first. Someone has to, and nobody else applied.
- Mondays aren't so bad. They're just Sundays that opened their bank statement.
- Your step counter used to set goals. Now it just sends "Hello?" like a…
- You wanted a mini-me. You got a tiny negotiator who has never once lost…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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