ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Somebody, somewhere, is checking their phone hoping it's you.
It's a debt collector.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Every birthday is a gift. The gift is one fewer birthday.
- "We should get dinner sometime" is a beautiful promise. One of you will die…
- Teamwork makes the dream work. It also means six people are ready to blame…
- Your savings account isn't empty. It's a memorial.
- You asked the chatbot if you were a good parent. It said "absolutely" before…
- Love yourself first. Someone has to, and nobody else applied.
- Mondays aren't so bad. They're just Sundays that opened their bank statement.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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