ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your step counter used to set goals.
Now it just sends "Hello?" like a relative checking you're still alive.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You wanted a mini-me. You got a tiny negotiator who has never once lost…
- The hardest part of working out is getting started. You've made sure it stays…
- You hyped your mate's mixtape. You've never listened to it. Neither has anyone. Including…
- Quality family time: everyone on a different screen in the same room, harvested by…
- Monday has its own support group. The group is everyone. The meetings are also…
- The best time to start saving was twenty years ago. The second-best time was…
- Your gym membership is the most expensive guilt you've ever bought. It renews automatically.…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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