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ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED

DAILY DEMOTIVATION

A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.

ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION TUESDAY, 16 MARCH 1993
Find your purpose.
It's in the drawer with the takeaway menus and a key to a flat you'll never live in again.

— Zack, unqualified

VERIFIED
UNHELPFUL

PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE

  1. Somebody, somewhere, is checking their phone hoping it's you. It's a debt collector.
  2. Every birthday is a gift. The gift is one fewer birthday.
  3. "We should get dinner sometime" is a beautiful promise. One of you will die…
  4. Teamwork makes the dream work. It also means six people are ready to blame…
  5. Your savings account isn't empty. It's a memorial.
  6. You asked the chatbot if you were a good parent. It said "absolutely" before…
  7. Love yourself first. Someone has to, and nobody else applied.

THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR

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Newsletter / Issue No. 445

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