ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You're "in your villain era".
You returned a lukewarm coffee and apologised four times. Villains have done less damage at a christening.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Doom spending is buying a heated eye mask because the news was bad. The…
- You're ageing like a fine wine. Expensive, slightly sour, best kept in the dark,…
- You bought the yoga mat. The cat uses it. The cat is more flexible,…
- You "don't believe in labels". You believe in being kept as an option.
- You call it a "situationship" because "relationship" would mean someone has to commit to…
- Your favourite music is now called "a classic". So are you. It means old.
- Your alarm didn't wake you. The dread did. It doesn't have a snooze button.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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