ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You'll leave your children everything you have.
It's mostly a bread maker and an overdraft.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your 47 open tabs are an accurate map of your inner life. Someone will…
- Your Duolingo owl has stopped threatening you. It's not proud. It's given up. Even…
- You flipped a water bottle on Monday morning just to feel something. It landed.…
- Kids grow up so fast. Except between 5pm and bedtime, when time stops and…
- You started saying "oof" when you sit down. That's the countdown, out loud.
- Nobody has ever said "thank goodness it's Monday". Except a manager, and he meant…
- You did the Mannequin Challenge again for old times' sake. The standing still was…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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