ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You call it a "situationship" because "relationship" would mean someone has to commit to something.
They haven't. They've committed to watching your stories within four seconds and replying to nothing.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your alarm didn't wake you. The dread did. It doesn't have a snooze button.
- You are exactly where you're meant to be. That should frighten you more than…
- Your company will send flowers to your funeral. They'll be charged to your department's…
- You "don't do small talk". You also don't do big talk, phone calls, emails…
- 2026 is the new 2016. Your knees did not get the memo. Your knees…
- Love is patient. Your partner is not, and has started a note on their…
- Synergy is two departments confused about the same thing at once. They'll merge. You'll…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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