ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION
TUESDAY, 24 OCTOBER 1995
The award show ran four hours.
The only winner was the advert break.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You're not getting older. You're getting closer. That's worse.
- “Too close to call” means nobody knows. It is said by people paid a…
- Dress for the job you want. The job you have will see you in…
- You call it a "situationship" because "relationship" would mean someone has to commit to…
- Your alarm didn't wake you. The dread did. It doesn't have a snooze button.
- You are exactly where you're meant to be. That should frighten you more than…
- Your company will send flowers to your funeral. They'll be charged to your department's…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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