ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Dating apps let you meet hundreds of people.
All of them are "just seeing where it goes". It goes nowhere. It went nowhere with you twice.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You "don't do small talk". You also don't do big talk, phone calls, emails…
- True love is choosing the same person every day. They're choosing, daily, whether to…
- You said you'd "touch grass" this weekend. You took a photo of grass, posted…
- It's not a career ladder. It's a hamster wheel. The hamster has a LinkedIn…
- You reinstalled Pokémon Go to get your steps up. Eleven kilometres later you'd caught…
- You're not getting older. You're getting closer. That's worse.
- You call it a "situationship" because "relationship" would mean someone has to commit to…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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