ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
"We should get dinner sometime" is a beautiful promise.
One of you will die first. It'll still be pending.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Work smarter, not harder. You've chosen neither, and HR has a folder.
- You moneymaxxed so hard this month you earned $4.80 in cashback. It cost three…
- Coffee doesn't fix Monday. It just makes sure you're fully conscious for it.
- You deleted the app "for good". That was 40 minutes ago. You've reinstalled it…
- Monday motivation is a myth. Like the Loch Ness Monster, a clean office microwave,…
- You've "found your aesthetic". It's beige. It's always beige.
- Your business plan has three phases: launch, pivot, and letting the domain quietly expire.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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