ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You said you'd "touch grass" this weekend.
You took a photo of grass, posted it, and checked how many people liked the grass.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You don't have a spending problem. You have an income problem, and it's terminal.
- The return to office is completely optional. So was the badge-swipe leaderboard, and yet…
- You're not getting older. You're getting closer. That's worse.
- You call it a "situationship" because "relationship" would mean someone has to commit to…
- Your step counter used to set goals. Now it just sends "Hello?" like a…
- You hyped your mate's mixtape. You've never listened to it. Neither has anyone. Including…
- Your birthday cake now needs a risk assessment. The candles are outnumbering the years…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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