ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Both parties say this is the most important election of your lifetime.
They said that last time. Your lifetime is very important.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Abs are made in the kitchen. So are toasties. The toasties are undefeated.
- You have 47 tabs open. Three are jobs you'll never apply for, one's a…
- You wanted a mini-me. You got a tiny negotiator who has never once lost…
- You said "that's so me" about a horoscope. It also described 600 million other…
- Your gym membership is the most expensive guilt you've ever bought. It renews automatically.…
- The retirement age goes up a year every time you check. It's not a…
- Your thirties are your twenties with consequences. The hangover lasts until Wednesday and reports…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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