ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION
WEDNESDAY, 3 SEPTEMBER 1997
Abs are made in the kitchen.
So are toasties. The toasties are undefeated.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You have 47 tabs open. Three are jobs you'll never apply for, one's a…
- You wanted a mini-me. You got a tiny negotiator who has never once lost…
- You said "that's so me" about a horoscope. It also described 600 million other…
- Your gym membership is the most expensive guilt you've ever bought. It renews automatically.…
- The retirement age goes up a year every time you check. It's not a…
- Your thirties are your twenties with consequences. The hangover lasts until Wednesday and reports…
- You put "entrepreneur" in your bio. You've sold one pair of trainers on Vinted…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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