ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your fitness app's AI coach called a four-minute walk "incredible progress".
It said the same when you opened it by accident. It'll keep saying it after you've gone, if nobody cancels the subscription.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Inside every older person is a younger person. The younger person is furious about…
- Every Monday you swear this week will be different. You've sworn it nine hundred…
- Dress for the job you want. The job you have will see you in…
- You reinstalled Pokémon Go to get your steps up. Eleven kilometres later you'd caught…
- True love is choosing the same person every day. They're choosing, daily, whether to…
- You said you'd "touch grass" this weekend. You took a photo of grass, posted…
- You don't have a spending problem. You have an income problem, and it's terminal.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
SEND ME ONE DEPRESSING THOUGHT EVERY MORNING
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