ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You reinstalled Pokémon Go to get your steps up.
Eleven kilometres later you'd caught three pigeons, a cold and a physio waiting list that will outlive the app.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- True love is choosing the same person every day. They're choosing, daily, whether to…
- You said you'd "touch grass" this weekend. You took a photo of grass, posted…
- You don't have a spending problem. You have an income problem, and it's terminal.
- The return to office is completely optional. So was the badge-swipe leaderboard, and yet…
- You're not getting older. You're getting closer. That's worse.
- You call it a "situationship" because "relationship" would mean someone has to commit to…
- Your step counter used to set goals. Now it just sends "Hello?" like a…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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