ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION
SUNDAY, 7 JUNE 1998
"It's just a phase" is a phrase you'll say for eighteen years.
You're the phase they'll describe to a therapist.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Being a parent means eating cold crusts standing up and calling it dinner. You'll…
- Money can't buy happiness. You'll never have enough to check.
- True love is choosing the same person every day. They're choosing, daily, whether to…
- You call yourself "a bit of a foodie". You've ordered the same chicken 64…
- The council listened to your feedback. Then it did the thing anyway, but with…
- You "speak your truth". Your truth is mostly about the bin rota.
- You "don't do small talk". You also don't do big talk, phone calls, emails…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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