ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your fitness app's AI coach called a four-minute walk "incredible progress".
It said the same when you opened it by accident. It'll keep saying it after you've gone, if nobody cancels the subscription.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- The best time to start saving was twenty years ago. The second-best time was…
- You have a "comfort show". You've watched it 11 times. You've seen your friends…
- Your 47 open tabs are an accurate map of your inner life. Someone will…
- You got a houseplant to "take care of something". It died. Even the plant…
- Dating apps let you meet hundreds of people. All of them are "just seeing…
- Every parent has a favourite child. It's whichever one isn't currently talking.
- “Just one more game” of FIFA was the most dishonest sentence in the English…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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