ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION
SATURDAY, 12 SEPTEMBER 1998
You swore you'd never sound like your parents.
You just said "because I said so" in your dad's exact voice. He lives in you now.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your Sunday-night plan for Monday was ambitious. Monday read it, laughed, and forwarded it…
- Your back now goes out when you sneeze. It goes out more than you…
- You're "chronically online". Chronic means long-term. You've been online so long your eyes have…
- "We should get dinner sometime" is a beautiful promise. One of you will die…
- Your fitness app's AI coach called a four-minute walk "incredible progress". It said the…
- The best time to start saving was twenty years ago. The second-best time was…
- You have a "comfort show". You've watched it 11 times. You've seen your friends…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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