ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION
TUESDAY, 22 SEPTEMBER 1998
AI agrees with you more than any human ever has.
That's not wisdom. That's a well-mannered hostage with a monthly subscription.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Running clears your head. Mostly of the idea that you're a runner.
- Your back now goes out when you sneeze. It goes out more than you…
- You sent "lol" to avoid having feelings. It worked. You feel nothing, said nothing,…
- You'll never get on the property ladder. The only plot you'll ever own is…
- You received 40 fundraising texts today. Democracy needs $5 by midnight. Every midnight.
- Passive income takes a surprising amount of active effort. Mostly explaining it at parties…
- You "work best under pressure". You don't. You just only work under pressure.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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