ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION
MONDAY, 14 SEPTEMBER 1998
You got a houseplant to "take care of something".
It died. Even the plant had better boundaries than you.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- "We should get dinner sometime" is a beautiful promise. One of you will die…
- You swore you'd never sound like your parents. You just said "because I said…
- Your Sunday-night plan for Monday was ambitious. Monday read it, laughed, and forwarded it…
- Your back now goes out when you sneeze. It goes out more than you…
- You're "chronically online". Chronic means long-term. You've been online so long your eyes have…
- "We should get dinner sometime" is a beautiful promise. One of you will die…
- Your fitness app's AI coach called a four-minute walk "incredible progress". It said the…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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