ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Everyone's bringing back the dog filter.
Your face has been doing the droopy-ears look on its own since March, and it doesn't come off when you close the app.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- True love is choosing the same person every day. They're choosing, daily, whether to…
- Every Monday you swear this week will be different. You've sworn it nine hundred…
- Some people run marathons. You run late, and you still come last.
- Your back now goes out when you sneeze. It goes out more than you…
- Tomorrow is a fresh start. Your problems have the new address. They've already moved…
- You typed "speak to an agent" nine times. The bot sent you a help…
- Your startup is an app that replaces a phone call. With a waitlist, a…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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