ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Dating apps let you meet hundreds of people.
All of them are "just seeing where it goes". It goes nowhere. It went nowhere with you twice.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You "love deeply". Mostly a fictional man who doesn't know you exist. Neither do…
- You did the Mannequin Challenge again for old times' sake. The standing still was…
- You said "it's giving" about your own life. It's giving overdraft. It's giving rent…
- Your boss hasn't taken a sick day in ten years. He has, however, given…
- The hardest part of working out is getting started. You've made sure it stays…
- Abs are made in the kitchen. So are toasties. The toasties are undefeated.
- Every company now has an AI assistant. It's the only member of staff nobody's…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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