ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your 5am routine went viral.
You did it once, filmed it, and have slept until 11 every day since. The algorithm doesn't know. Your landlord does.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You bought 41 games in the Steam sale. You will play two. The other…
- "Let's take this offline" means "let's never speak of this again." That's also the…
- You received 40 fundraising texts today. Democracy needs $5 by midnight. Every midnight.
- Micro-dating is a thirty-minute coffee to see if there's a spark. There wasn't. She…
- Strangers online have voted you "not wrong". The same strangers once voted to give…
- You wanted a mini-me. You got a tiny negotiator who has never once lost…
- Don't settle. Your standards already have. They didn't tell you.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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