ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Both parties say this is the most important election of your lifetime.
They said that last time. Your lifetime is very important.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You "grew out of" your old friends. They grew out of waiting for you…
- The in-office lunch is optional. The man with the clipboard and no sandwich is…
- Kids grow up so fast. Except between 5pm and bedtime, when time stops and…
- Your toddler has stronger opinions about sock seams than you've had about anything since…
- You call your mum "for advice". You call her for the Netflix password.
- You started saying "oof" when you sit down. That's the countdown, out loud.
- The light at the end of the tunnel is someone asking, "Can you see…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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