ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your birthday cake now needs a risk assessment.
The candles are outnumbering the years you've got left.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You're "on a gap year". It's your third.
- You've "found your aesthetic". It's beige. It's always beige.
- Being a parent means eating cold crusts standing up and calling it dinner. You'll…
- The return to office is completely optional. So was the badge-swipe leaderboard, and yet…
- Underconsumption core is a beautiful aesthetic. It's what the last week of the month…
- You said you're "so busy" this week. Your screen time says eleven hours a…
- Both parties say this is the most important election of your lifetime. They said…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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