ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You call yourself "a bit of a foodie".
You've ordered the same chicken 64 times this year. The driver knows your dog's name.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Dating apps let you meet hundreds of people. All of them are "just seeing…
- Your squad misses you, says the notification. Your squad is four strangers and a…
- “Too close to call” means nobody knows. It is said by people paid a…
- Your birthday cake now needs a risk assessment. The candles are outnumbering the years…
- You're "on a gap year". It's your third.
- You've "found your aesthetic". It's beige. It's always beige.
- Being a parent means eating cold crusts standing up and calling it dinner. You'll…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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