ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION
TUESDAY, 27 JULY 1999
You "love deeply".
Mostly a fictional man who doesn't know you exist. Neither do his writers.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You film "Sunday reset" videos. By Tuesday your room has reset itself, to Saturday.
- You don't skip leg day. You skip every day. The legs know. The legs…
- You call yourself "a bit of a foodie". You've ordered the same chicken 64…
- Dating apps let you meet hundreds of people. All of them are "just seeing…
- Your squad misses you, says the notification. Your squad is four strangers and a…
- “Too close to call” means nobody knows. It is said by people paid a…
- Your birthday cake now needs a risk assessment. The candles are outnumbering the years…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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