ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION
FRIDAY, 30 JULY 1999
Kids grow up so fast.
Except between 5pm and bedtime, when time stops and you age a decade.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Find your purpose. It's in the drawer with the takeaway menus and a key…
- You "don't do small talk". You also don't do big talk, phone calls, emails…
- You "love deeply". Mostly a fictional man who doesn't know you exist. Neither do…
- You film "Sunday reset" videos. By Tuesday your room has reset itself, to Saturday.
- You don't skip leg day. You skip every day. The legs know. The legs…
- You call yourself "a bit of a foodie". You've ordered the same chicken 64…
- Dating apps let you meet hundreds of people. All of them are "just seeing…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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