ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Dating apps let you meet hundreds of people.
All of them are "just seeing where it goes". It goes nowhere. It went nowhere with you twice.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your squad misses you, says the notification. Your squad is four strangers and a…
- “Too close to call” means nobody knows. It is said by people paid a…
- Your birthday cake now needs a risk assessment. The candles are outnumbering the years…
- You're "on a gap year". It's your third.
- You've "found your aesthetic". It's beige. It's always beige.
- Being a parent means eating cold crusts standing up and calling it dinner. You'll…
- The return to office is completely optional. So was the badge-swipe leaderboard, and yet…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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