ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You asked the chatbot if you were a good parent. It said "absolutely" before you'd finished typing.
The children have requested a second opinion. They'll be getting it in 2041, at their own expense.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You're "healing your inner child". Your inner child is fine. It's your outer adult…
- Your thirties are your twenties with consequences. The hangover lasts until Wednesday and reports…
- Someone laminated an "Acceptable Behaviour" poster for the office kitchen. It will still be…
- You put "entrepreneur" in your bio. You've sold one pair of trainers on Vinted…
- Underconsumption core is a beautiful aesthetic. It's what the last week of the month…
- You "don't believe in labels". You believe in being kept as an option.
- Your resting heart rate is excellent. It's had nothing else to do.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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