ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You negotiated your broadband bill down by $3 a month.
The call took 94 minutes. You break even in 2031. They put it back up in 2027.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your toddler has stronger opinions about sock seams than you've had about anything since…
- Unlimited holiday is a lovely policy. The company did the maths on your guilt,…
- Wisdom comes with age. So does standing on the landing with no idea why…
- You reinstalled Pokémon Go to get your steps up. Eleven kilometres later you'd caught…
- You're not a CEO. You're one person with a logo, a free email account…
- The hardest part of working out is getting started. You've made sure it stays…
- They'll hold a minute's silence for you at the all-hands. It will be the…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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