ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your birthday cake now needs a risk assessment.
The candles are outnumbering the years you've got left.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Ghostlighting is when someone disappears for eight weeks and comes back with "you've been…
- Your back now goes out when you sneeze. It goes out more than you…
- Your Duolingo owl has stopped threatening you. It's not proud. It's given up. Even…
- The first email you open on Monday is a reply-all from Friday. Forty replies.…
- Monday has its own support group. The group is everyone. The meetings are also…
- You said "this is my year". You've said it since 2019. The years have…
- Some meetings could have been an email. You'll spend four years of your one…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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