ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You said you're "booked and busy".
Booked for a dentist you'll cancel. Busy rewatching a show you've already seen four times.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You're "so random". You've told the same "so random" story at every party since…
- The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. You took it…
- You hyped your mate's mixtape. You've never listened to it. Neither has anyone. Including…
- Your birthday cake now needs a risk assessment. The candles are outnumbering the years…
- Ghostlighting is when someone disappears for eight weeks and comes back with "you've been…
- Your back now goes out when you sneeze. It goes out more than you…
- Your Duolingo owl has stopped threatening you. It's not proud. It's given up. Even…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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